"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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