I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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