I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
