No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
