Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
