38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
