So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
