So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
