I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
