Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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