Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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