shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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