K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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