question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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