Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
