i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
