I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
