Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
ok first of all what the fuck
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
