What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
