Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
