Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
