i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i was born a porn star she said
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
