She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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