you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
