I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
