Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
