I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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