we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
