whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
