party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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