Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
