he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
