It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
