at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
