we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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