It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He felt like a one man threesome
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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