i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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