aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize