somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
