I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
