at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
