Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Your cock deserves a montage
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
