dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
