He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
All the doctor said was why
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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