what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
