so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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