He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
