I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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