i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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