I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
