just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
