He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
