how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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