it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
