Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dignity is for republicans.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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