im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
