It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
do herpes really smell.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
