; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
